To make friends and to maintain the “friendship”, is, I believe, one of the most arduous tasks on this planet. To begin with, it is next to impossible, to find a person that you genuinely enjoy having a conversation with, and conversation to me, dear reader, is the most important pre-requisite of striking the bond that we call friendship. Even if you manage to go past the initial hindrance and can indeed have a brilliant conversation with a person, this city does you in. It does not allow you the physical proximity, that you require for having the much desired conversation (I just CANNOT have any meaningful conversation over the phone).
I happened to have had an epiphany today which left me a little disillusioned. I realized that quiet a few of my friendships are not what I had hoped them to be. So I am simply going to prattle on about how I feel all wrong about certain friendships that I have maintained.
Certain of my friends treat me like the “Friend Finder” option on facebook! They make “my” friends “their” friends, which for some reason really ticks me off, and then the “my-converted-into-their” friends become better friends of theirs and then I get to hear things and developments about such “my-converted-into-their” friends from the Friend Finder friend. Yeah, I know, may be I am behaving like an over-grown kid, but that’s that…so sue me!
Another set of friends are those who follow the ideology that if one has to become their friend, then they must eat, drink, breathe and everything else together! Well, I am all for spending time with friends, but doing over-time is really not my cup of tea, which leaves me sort of at the periphery of this group, and that saddens me at times.
Then I have certain friends with whom, if left alone, I cannot have any conversation at all. These are, what I call, the “group-friends”. This category is rather strange, because I know all that is to know about these group friends and vice-versa, I know what are their likes and dislikes and vice versa, but STILL, if we are alone without the “group”, there is no consequential conversation that can be had between us. This really perplexes me to no end.
Then ofcourse I have the “party-friends”. These are the ones who share the most honest bond with me. With them there is no pretence of being BFFs or any such thing. The deal is clear from the onset. We drink together, we party together, we dance together, other than that we are nothing more to each other. I have, quiet often, wondered about what would it be like to be REAL friends with some of these “party-friends”. But then I do not want to spoil the perfectly balanced relation with them. What if they become too clingy, what if they turn out to be absolute bores when sober, what if they don’t bother about me at all. These fears have always restrained me from making any efforts towards being real friends with this set.
But thank God for small mercies. I do have a handful of friends who are just that – FRIENDS. They indulge me, yell at me, hate me, love me and never ever judge me. I have never pondered so much over the nature of their bond with me.These are the ones with whom I have shared the most interesting conversations and the most companionable silences. And these are the ones, I know, I will always be friends with.
I happened to have had an epiphany today which left me a little disillusioned. I realized that quiet a few of my friendships are not what I had hoped them to be. So I am simply going to prattle on about how I feel all wrong about certain friendships that I have maintained.
Certain of my friends treat me like the “Friend Finder” option on facebook! They make “my” friends “their” friends, which for some reason really ticks me off, and then the “my-converted-into-their” friends become better friends of theirs and then I get to hear things and developments about such “my-converted-into-their” friends from the Friend Finder friend. Yeah, I know, may be I am behaving like an over-grown kid, but that’s that…so sue me!
Another set of friends are those who follow the ideology that if one has to become their friend, then they must eat, drink, breathe and everything else together! Well, I am all for spending time with friends, but doing over-time is really not my cup of tea, which leaves me sort of at the periphery of this group, and that saddens me at times.
Then I have certain friends with whom, if left alone, I cannot have any conversation at all. These are, what I call, the “group-friends”. This category is rather strange, because I know all that is to know about these group friends and vice-versa, I know what are their likes and dislikes and vice versa, but STILL, if we are alone without the “group”, there is no consequential conversation that can be had between us. This really perplexes me to no end.
Then ofcourse I have the “party-friends”. These are the ones who share the most honest bond with me. With them there is no pretence of being BFFs or any such thing. The deal is clear from the onset. We drink together, we party together, we dance together, other than that we are nothing more to each other. I have, quiet often, wondered about what would it be like to be REAL friends with some of these “party-friends”. But then I do not want to spoil the perfectly balanced relation with them. What if they become too clingy, what if they turn out to be absolute bores when sober, what if they don’t bother about me at all. These fears have always restrained me from making any efforts towards being real friends with this set.
But thank God for small mercies. I do have a handful of friends who are just that – FRIENDS. They indulge me, yell at me, hate me, love me and never ever judge me. I have never pondered so much over the nature of their bond with me.These are the ones with whom I have shared the most interesting conversations and the most companionable silences. And these are the ones, I know, I will always be friends with.
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